Journal Entry #5 – June 20, 2024
It’s been a couple months since the last entry. Took a while to bounce back after what happened with Ademir, not just physically, but mentally too. I needed the space. I needed to remind myself that this isn’t about pain or pride, it’s about control, clarity, whatever I’m still trying to name. It was a painful lesson but one I obviously needed. I don't hate Ademir either, don't get me wrong. He gave me what I wanted and asked for. Thankfully, while he still pushed hard, he saw me, and gave me what I needed too. But yeah, I wasn’t even planning on setting up another match yet. I think I was still a little iffy about everything, and I wanted to be sure. Like sure sure, you know? But then I got a message from a guy named Eli. Username was something simple, “NiceBoyFighterNextDoor.” His profile was honest. Nothing flashy, nothing aggressive. Just: “Lean build, into gut punching and long friendly matches. Respectful, chill. Just want to test limits, together.”
He attached a couple photos, like most of the guys did with their profiles. But unlike the others he wasn't trying to show off. They were him, real, every day. Kinda cute.... shut up I didn't just admit that. Maybe that's what changed my mind. Eli, did I mention I like his name, well he's close to my age. He's got a nice body too, it's slim, but toned. It reminds me of a swimmer who stopped competing but never stopped moving. He may have moved into other things, but the drive was still there. He also has a bit of a dusting of chest and stomach hair, like someone pressed a brush across him lightly. He's pale but with the kind of flush that hinted he sweated easily. Definitely Irish, and it worked for him. And finally, something about his eyes made him look like he smiled often, even when he wasn’t.
We chatted for some time, starting with the usual casual back and forth. It came so easy, he wasn’t trying to impress me or show off. It was normal, grounded, even for people who liked fighting. It was almost like we been chatting forever, like we been friends since grade school. He would ask what kind of hits I liked, how long I’d been doing it, if I was okay with slow builds instead of hard slams. I was honest, I told him I’d had all kinds, fast, brutal, drawn-out. Said I was still figuring out what I liked best.
He replied, with absolutely zero judgment, “Sounds like you’re getting closer. I'd be happy to help if I can man!"
